I believe that one of the toughest battles that many people who have been through and experienced a tragic life changing event is finding peace with oneself and the new life that has been set for you as a result of what you have been through. Many people call this, finding closure.
I can only speak from my experience Finding closure after my spinal cord injury and everything that occurred after that has been very unusual. My situation was very unique as I didn’t experience what many people viewed as normal. I have heard and read about many peoples’ experiences after such tragic and life altering experiences. Many people resent life and God. Others fall into a state of depression or worse, they decide they don’t want to live anymore and begin to dislike themselves and others thus becoming bitter and start to view life with a negative perspective. My experience was completely the opposite from that.
Although I had lost so much after my incident I never felt like I was worthless. After my incident I was left in a vegetative state which many would consider to be the equivalent of being dead. Despite my awful experiences caused by my injury I managed to keep a positive and optimistic outlook on life. My faith in God and the love and support from everyone around me kept me strong and cheerful despite my tragic circumstances.
Time can often open your eyes to a new perspective
It has now been 9 years since my injury and I now realize that I never gave myself time to process what had happened to me. I don’t remember ever really feeling like I had lost anything despite me evidently losing my ability to do everything and being extremely ill.
I was happy because I had my family there with me and I was just grateful to be alive. I was going through so much tragedy and pain, but despite that I always found my happiness in the littlest of things. My undying optimism didn’t allow for any negative thoughts. I didn’t have many feelings of sadness or loss. I always saw a path forward even when others did not. I give 100 percent of the credit to God because it was him who gave me the tools necessary to keep going.
My closure and my purpose
Fast forward to today. 9 years since my injury, I now find myself thinking about and reflecting on everything that I went through both good and bad. I find it hard to believe that it’s been so many years since that life changing experience. I often think about what could’ve been if things had turned out differently. To date I am still unclear on how things unfolded after I went into my initial heart surgery, but I am a firm believer of living in the present and not dwelling on the past or on what could’ve been. This was God’s plan and I accepted it without any resentment; because I knew that He had great things planned for me. I am extremely thankful and blessed for everything that I went through as it has strengthened me in every way possible. I found closure in that my life is an example of what a Miracle looks like. I found that I don’t need to be able to walk in order to be Enough
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
I didn’t go through the typical grieving process that many people go through after a tragic life changing event. I had too much to be thankful for because despite my grim circumstances, I had something that many people don’t get, which is a second opportunity to live. What better closure do I need? Like so many people, I have gone through a difficult journey full of every emotion possible. It is all those physical and emotional struggles that have made me into the person I am today. I have many scars from all that I have gone through and those scars are a reminder of the battles I’ve fought and won. I am thankful for each scar as with each scar I have become stronger and have proven that with God by my side. Nothing is impossible. That is how I found the closure I needed. Each person has a completely different experience and story that no one will ever be able to understand unless they’ve lived it themselves. I cannot tell you how to find your closure or how you should feel as this is your journey, and may be very different from mine. What I can do is share my story and journey, and I hope that you find something to take away and help you in your journey towards recovery. Life can be tough but you were tougher. Stay positive, find the strength you need through God or wherever you choose. All I ask of you is to stay strong, and never give up because there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark that tunnel may seem.